When life gives you lemons... Throw them up!

I don't have a whole lot to report in this post without severely grossing you all out.  Sufficeth to say, I was sick last week.  It hit me Tuesday at about 4:00 I was feeling very tired and pretty sick, but I made dinner for the family.  I didn't eat much and at about 9:00pm.....lets just say I haven't been that sick since before I can remember.  It even tops the memory of the last stomach flu I got five years ago.  I didn't get any sleep until about 3:00 in the morning.  I was just so thankful that baby boy didn't wake up during that time.  I guess in a way, I was "lucky" to have gotten sick at night when everyone else was sleeping.  There was no way I was nursing a baby during that time.  I survived his 3:45am feeding although it wasn't easy.

Wednesday I didn't eat anything all day, I was exhausted from not sleeping all night and still feeling very ill.  I was able to eat a can of chicken noodle soup about 3pm.

Thursday I felt better, I ate half a cup of oatmeal for breakfast and a slice of pizza for dinner (which turned out to be a bad idea because the cheese upset my stomach, but it tasted so good! But again, bad idea for the lactose intolerant.... one of these days I'll learn.)

Friday I thought I was on the mend and I even went to the gym Friday morning.  I decided to take it easy and walk on the treadmill.  I did my usual hill workout and it kicked my butt!  I was only walking at 3.5mph.  I used to walk at 4.2 for an hour doing the rolling hills workout on the treadmill and barely break a sweat.  This time I about died and I only made it 45 minutes!  But I have to think about where I am now and not where I was.  Friday night I got sick again, I'm not sure why it came back and hit me again but I was sick all afternoon and evening.

Saturday I ate two sleeves of saltine crackers throughout the day and a bowl of chicken noodle soup for dinner.  I weighed myself Saturday and I was 205.6.  That was pretty fun to see, but I didn't expect it to stay that low.  I knew as soon as I started eating food again, my weight would jump back up.

Sunday I ate a normal breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the first time in an week.  I weighed myself this morning and I was back up to 208.6.  I was rather surprised it jumped up that much after only one day of eating.  It's not like I ate a ton of food.  I figured after not eating for a week and with exercising I'd be down two pounds at least but it is what it is.  We will just have to see what my body does by this coming Saturday.

It was a pretty miserable week.  My milk dried up because I wasn't eating anything and my baby boy was cranky and fussy and mad (just like how I felt haha).  Hopefully now that I'm eating everything will correct itself and I can be on my way.  I just have to stick to the plan and not over indulge on my first several days of eating.  Being sick for a week doesn't give me an excuse to binge.  Besides, that would probably upset my stomach and I've had enough of that for the time being.

First week and weigh in.

The first week went pretty well all in all.  The weekend was tough.  Saturday I actually stayed on plan and the only problem was that I overate at dinner time.  We had hamburgers and home baked french-fries and my inlaws brought potato salad.  I definitely ate too many French fries and potato salad.  But I didn't eat any of the home made cinnamon rolls and I didn't have any chocolate chip banana bread that day and I did take the kids to the pool and swim around with baby boy.  I feel good about Saturday.  I weighed myself on Saturday morning because it just seemed like a good time.  I weighted in at 209.8!  Officially down 4 pounds!  I love the first week for this reason.  I usually drop several pounds the first week.  Oh if all weeks could be this good, but then weight loss wouldn't be as hard as it is and I probably wouldn't be writing this blog.

Then enters Sunday.  I don't know why Sundays are so hard for me, but they have historically been the hardest day of the week.  I think it's because Sunday is a rest day and we don't go anywhere except for Church, and sometimes to visit family.  So the fact that I am home all day long does not help.  I always eat more when I am home all day and Sunday is no exception.  I'm not sure if it's just habit or situational habit or subconsciously I think I should be "resting from my diet" but I always overeat on Sunday.  Always Always Always!  For years and years and even the last time I successfully lost weight, Sunday was binge day.  I really want to get rid of this mentality.  I'm going to have to give some more structure to my Sunday if I want to overcome this hurdle.  So this Sunday, I definitely overate.  It was like all my goals went out the window and I pretty much ate whatever I wanted.  And guess what, I felt like crap Sunday night.  I was bloated, and my stomach hurt and for a while I thought I might throw up.  How silly is that.  Yet I do the same thing over and over again knowing that the results will be the same.  It's time to change.  I'm going to work myself up a schedule for this next Sunday, practice being out of the kitchen and work on breaking this cycle.

So naturally I chickened out with weighing myself on Monday, so I've decided that Saturday is my official weight for the first week, yay! (Whatever motivates me and keeps me going right?)  I made it to the gym three times for a workout and a fourth time taking the kids to the indoor pool area with waterslides and all that good stuff.  I've noticed positive results already.  Walking is easier!  This is a big one.  I can't believe how painful just walking has been for the past several months.  I'm not even morbidly obese, I can't imagine how people 100+ pounds more than I am feel!  My pace has been a slow shuffle, my legs have been hurting, especially my calves, knees and feet.  Today I was carrying baby boy into get my allergy shot and I was noticing that my stride was a little faster and a little looser and a little more pain free!  I am excited about that.  I'm tired of living in pain.

Yesterday I got back on plan, checking off my boxes and I feel like I did pretty well.  I think I went over my food goals by a little bit, but I feel good about it all in all.  My goal for the rest of the week is to stay right on track with my food and get to the gym three times.  I didn't have time to go on Monday, and today I went to get my allergy shot, sign my tax forms and I have a flute lesson soon.  So that leaves Wed, thurs, fri.  Which are good days to go exercise.  I want to take the kids to the pool again on Saturday.  Wednesday there is a Zumba class at 9:45 I want to go to.  Friday, my husband has an important call coming in and he will be at the house so I'm going to the gym early, so I won't make the 10:00 Zumba class so I'm going to do Zombies run again.  I think the running really helps improve my walking comfort and loosen up those muscles and ligaments.  I wish Zombies run would sync with my fitbit so it would count my steps for my run, but it doesn't affect the gameplay or the storyline so it doesn't bother me too much, and I have my fitbit for tracking my running steps.  That will give me two days of running/walking practice and one Zumba class.  This week I am going to see which activity burns more calories.  I know that the run/walk combo gets my heart rate up higher longer so I know that burns more immediate calories but a Zumba class is longer than my run/walk time.

The first time I do Run/Walk I'm going to stick to 2 minutes walking, one minute jogging, if that feels doable then I will increase my run time for my second run to 1.30 minutes jogging at 5.0mph.

So I have a plan!  Things are going as well as can be expected, I've messed up but I'm not letting it get me down.  I know I'm going to mess up again but I can just try again the next day and keep on keeping on.

First Days, First Goal

This week has been crazy and super busy.  There have been a few times where I wanted to just screw it and start a different time because the stress at the beginning of the week was almost too much to handle.  But I was able to sign up at my favorite gym on Monday morning, and I did my first workout.  I don't think I can make it through a class yet, although I'm going to try Zumba tomorrow, so I decided to do the treadmill. I chose the treadmill because one of the things I really want to be able to do is run when I need to run.  Right now I can barely walk let alone run, I feel so pathetic.  I don't necessarily want to become a runner per say, but I would like to be able to run after my kids, run down the street to the bus stop, run to my car when its raining, etc.  My 6 year old girl can run faster and longer than me and that's just pathetic on my part.

I have discovered the best and most amazing running app ever.  It's called Zombies Run and it's my favorite.  It does everything that a normal running app does but it is also a game.  Every time you run you select to listen to an episode of the story, or you can simply do supply runs.  Then you take what you earned back to your city and you build your city safe from the zombies.  I love listening to the story and when they say "the Zombies have found you run!!!" it certainly makes you want to run faster haha!  I love it, and I want to know the next part of the story so that greatly increases my desire to do my next run and the likely hood that I will actually go do another workout.  So anyway, I didn't fall off the wagon on my first day simply because I figured if I blew it Monday evening that it was a whole day of suffering wasted.  I say suffering because change is uncomfortable and the first time I exercise after being dormant for a long time is painful and hard.  So I stuck to it so as not to have wasted the day.  Using my food tracking chart is working well.  When it's time for a snack I look at my chart and see what I still need to eat and instead of grabbing some chocolate, I'll grab an apple and peanut butter, or eat some eggs or use my healthy snack option.  Which reminds me I still need to make those peanut butter energy bites to have on hand for my healthy snack..... I'll post the recipe when I get around to making them.  Good old pinterest.

Today I went back to the gym for my second workout.  I did running again.  5 minute warm up walk, 1 minute run at 5.0 mph (up from 4.8 the first time), 2 minutes walking at 3.0 mph.  repeat until reach 40 minutes, 5 minute cooldown.
It was much easier this time than the first day, but it was still difficult.  I'm trying to model my running after the 10k training app I did when training for my triathlon, I don't want to do too much too fast or I will end up with shin splints and have to start all over.  Plus I'm a lot heavier and more out of shape than the last time, so easing into things is a better idea than what I usually do which is plow headfirst and get myself hurt or discouraged because its too hard.


Thinking about starting and changing my habits gets me thinking about how I am going to stay on track.  I don't want to develop the bad habits I had last time like binge eating, weighing myself every day, and obsessing over weight loss and my body image.  That's not mentally or physically healthy.
One of the big problems I run into is the sheer length of time it is going to take to lose all the weight I want to.  I always feel like I'm working and working and I never get anywhere.  I've decided this time not to do that.  I've decided to just make small goals I can actually achieve and then once I reach those goals, to move onto the next one.  This is what everyone says you are supposed to do in the first place, but of course I never listen.  My first goal is to just get under 200 pounds.  I managed to slip under 200 pounds when I was doing Optavia, but of course once I quit I've been creeping back up ever since because I've been eating EVERYTHING plus some.

I starting out Monday at:213.6

My goals this week are to stick with my eating plan, and get to the gym three times (I wrote that sentence Monday in a saved post, and I've been to the gym twice and stayed on plan so doing pretty go so far!)

All in all things are starting out pretty good.  I feel good about this plan I've created for myself and I think it's going to work well.  I already feel better, like I can move around better and I'm not always in a sugar coma.  If you are interested my milk supply has dropped, and it only took two days for it to drop, but I was expecting that and baby boy is over 1 year old so I'm not as worried about it as I was before.  He's still getting milk, and I'm going to take my more milk plus supplement that I bought last time and then didn't use because I quit altogether in favor of having a better milk supply.

I think I am on my way to finding a new normal and a new way of life.