So after deciding that I have no one to blame but myself, I thought about how I can go about to remedy the problem. The first step in fixing the problem is realizing and admitting that it is a problem. What I realized was that ever since I decided to be a stay at home mom, I have been lacking a schedule. All my life I have had a schedule to abide by which was given me by outside sources. School, or work. But once I became a stay at home mom, no one gave me a schedule to adhere to and I became lazier and lazier because I really didn't have to do anything. Now, I know I have accomplished a lot over the past 5 years and it's not like I neglected my kids, I just know in hindsight that I could have done better. But I have five years of experience now that I didn't have then. And I know a thing or two now that I didn't know then. But something that has been missing from my life is a schedule, and there is no one to come up with it but me. So I've decided that before I go to bed at night I will write out a schedule for the next few days. It has times on it, but that is more to keep me on track vs being very rigid. Last night I wrote out this schedule for today:
7-8: morning, breakfast, teeth brush, etc
8:30- kids bath
9:30 scripture study
10:30- drop off kids, go to grocery store
12:00- lunch, flute, nap
2:30 pick up kids
3:00- chloe reading lesson, lily activity pack
While the day didn't adhere strictly to the schedule, the kids ate breakfast and I gave them a bath, then we did scripture study and I dropped the kids off at a friends house who had volunteered to watch them for me for a couple of hours. I ended up playing my flute later in the day and I decided to play a game instead of taking a nap. The kids watched a movie later in the evening and dinner didn't happen until 6:15. But in essence, I was able to do everything on the list, and I feel more accomplished today. It's a good start. I already have tomorrow planned and when I'm done posting I will plan out Thursday. I am usually more optimistic in my planning because I plan things that I emotionally want to do, even if I fell tired the next day hopefully I will stick to the schedule. I just need to give it a good effort and stick with it. Katie has been really inspiring about sticking with things that you start long enough to see them have an effect. It takes hard work and dedication, and things can be tweaked if need be but you can't see the results unless you stick with it long enough to see results.
In that same line, I have decided to sort of copy what Katie did to lose the weight. I like how she talked about giving herself enough freedom so she didn't feel deprived, or restricted. I also like the not eating snacks inbetween meals which allows her to eat more for her meals. I think the fewer times I have to be around food and eating food the better. Unlike a drug addict, I can't just quit eating. Today I feel like I did a good job of eating slower to allow myself time to digest so I wasn't still hungry when I finished eating.
Even through the bumps in the road today, I managed to stay on track. Tomorrow brings about a whole new set of challenges, but I think I am up to the task.