Sunday, April 16, 2017

Rewiring my Brain

So almost immediately last week, I changed my strategy/plan, which as you know seems to be my style.  I set my calorie goal at 1900 but I really just hate how confining it is to try to adhere to a specific number.  And I don't care for keeping track of weekly calories.  So I did set my calorie goal in MFP at 1900 but in my mind I'm targeting 1700 and if I feel like I'm super hungry it's ok if I go over 1700 a bit, but trying to make 1900 the max.  So basically I set up a calorie range I'm trying to stay in.  1700-1900 where every day I'm targeting the lower end and only going higher if I feel like I'm hungry or occasion (like birthday parties, or Easter for example) warrant it. 

This morning I weighed in at 184.6!  Down 1.6 pounds.  So it worked really well this week.  It provided me with flexibility and took the oppressive restrictions of striving for a specific number away.  It is interesting that for the past few years I've had trouble sticking to a number weather that number is 1400 or 2000 calories.  I think this might actually work!  And guess what, I didn't feel very hungry last week at all.  There were a few times late at night when I felt a little hungry, but I figured I could eat in the morning and I didn't need a 9pm snack.  Other than that, it felt remarkably normal, which is all I've been asking for for years.  Something that feels normal.  I think this might be it, the way I can live permanently, and for the first time in a long time I'm optimistic and feeling excited. 

One other thing I'm doing is paying attention to my thoughts.  I'm a super negative thinker and I know how important it is to think positively.  All I've been able to think about every time I try to lose weight is how much I don't want to restrict my food and how hard it is and how much I really just don't want to do it and I wish I hadn't gained this weight back and blah blah blah.  Of course it turns into trash talk about myself and before long I'm stuffing my face with sweets to try and make myself feel better from myself.  So every time I catch myself thinking a negative or deconstructive thought, I immediately say exactly the opposite and repeat it to myself several times.  Such as:  "I really don't want to run today......... I really want to run today, I love running"   "I really wish I could eat that candy.......I don't want that candy, I'm stronger than the candy, it has no power over me and really I don't want that candy"   "I hate myself.......... I love myself"  
I think you get the picture.  It's really worked this week to keep my spirits higher and motivate me to get my exercise in and to stop eating so much junk.  Now, I still ate plenty of chips, and had a cookie at my grandpa's birthday party, and had a slice of cherry pie at Easter dinner last night with my in laws.  So it's really about being constructive and uplifting versus restrictive and forcing yourself into undesirable behaviors.  It's about tricking myself into doing the things that are good for me until I start believing the opposite of what I do now, namely that I like eating healthy, and I like exercising, and I like living a healthy lifestyle.  Which theoretically is something that should be true, and I think I can learn how to love it and it's good for me anyway.  So we will see where it leads. 

In other news.  Lily lost her first tooth yesterday!  So she got a visit from the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy last night!

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