Sunday, November 15, 2015

Holding steady

I've been doing pretty well since I decided to start working on my goals.  I haven't been perfect.  But that is the point of goals and that is why they are not rules, but something that I know I need to work towards improving.  I chose healthier dinners two times this week when I would have had something much worse to eat, or I would have just rummaged around since I didn't have an official meal I was making.  I had a salad one night when I wasn't too terribly hungry.  I didn't do Paleo dinner perfect every night.  One night I wasn't thinking hard enough and I had corn chips with my dinner.  Even though I had made a Paleo dinner that night, corn is not Paleo so naturally corn chips would be a no no.  I didn't realize it until half way through my dinner and by then I was thinking "oh well, I'm just going to finish my chips and not worry about it."  I didn't let it lead to the thinking of "I've blown it so I might as well eat like crap." because I'm working on bettering myself and not following a set of rules that can't be broken. 

The only goal I've done "perfectly" is the sweets every other day.  Adding honey or maple syrup to dinners I'm not counting as a treat or a sweet or a dessert or whatever.  One of my Paleo dinners was a stir fry type dinner and I had to add honey to the meat.  Also one of the dinners I made was a shrimp meal, and I had to add honey to that sauce too.  That doesn't count as a sweet.  That's just an ingredient in my dinner.  Stir Fry does not equal dessert. It's still been difficult to refrain from eating sweets all the time.  With all the leftover candy and especially when I have to get it off the top of the fridge so the kids can pick out a candy and then open their candies for them.  It's tough, but I've managed to stick to the ever other day guideline.  On days when I can eat sweets I have noticed that I'm not eating as much as I was.  In the sense that I'm not binging on it until I feel so sick I want to curl up into a ball and die.  I know that when I want more later that day I can have more and I know that I will be able to have more within a few days.  On my off days I just think, "I can have candy and treats tomorrow.  I can make it one day."

Probably the hardest one is slowing down my eating pace because that takes the most effort and continuous conscious thought.  It's so natural for me to just sit down an eat but then to remember "oh yeah, I'm supposed to be eating slower" so half way through my meal I try to slow down.  It's going to take a long time to slow my eating pace.  I still finish ahead of my kids even when I'm really trying to eat slower. 

I'm doing ok on not going back for seconds.  Pretty much if I can remember not to eat seconds I don't eat them, but when I'm not paying attention I've grabbed seconds before.  Awareness and not forgetting is a huge part about working towards these goals.  Two of them are so easy to just overlook as I go on autopilot and don't think about it much: eating slower and not having seconds.  There have been many times over the past week where I have remembered and I have consciously chosen not to have seconds when I wanted some.  And I was fine the rest of the night.  I wasn't hungry and I was rewarded with not feeling stuffed and bloated. 

It might take me a year before I get these down, and it might take longer, or shorter.  But I know I have some realistic goals to work towards and these are habit changing goals that will help me live more naturally without dieting.  My weight is FINALLY holding steady and I'm not doing anything extreme, and I'm not withholding any foods.  I'm eating just about everything I want: popcorn and sweets included, but within some guidelines and I'm feeling pretty good about it.  My weight has been 158 for this past week.  I've been weighing about every other day.  So my weight has finally leveled out.  That is the first step.  If I can maintain my weight with a livable and loveable lifestyle then once I master these goals and move onto new goals that will make me healthier, I may start losing weight again.  But for now, maintaining is fine.  Of course I wish I could have maintained at 148 instead of 158, but the struggle is real, and I definitely struggle.  I'm certainly not perfect, but I think I just might be headed in the right direction.

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