Which has been tempting me all week. Temptation has been rising and falling all week in a crazy roller coaster ride, made only harder by my body misbehaving. This week has been really rough. A lot of confusion, exhaustion, worry, and stress. So I mentioned before that I started gushing blood on Sunday. That is when it really started to get bad. I thought my body was cleaning itself out and I think my body was trying to clean itself out, but I just wasn't quite getting it done. It stopped bleeding Sunday night, and through Monday it wasn't bleeding much. After talking with my sister, I believe that my body had successfully clotted, but I was still having really bad cramping. Tuesday afternoon came and I started dumping blood in small amounts again. So I blew out the clots. Tons of blood and clots were coming out. The one time I missed the toilet my pants were soaked in blood within a matter of seconds. However, again it stopped, so I wasn't quite sure what to do. I figured "ok, it's stopping I must be getting over it". Then comes Wednesday and I didn't bleed much until about 2 in the afternoon when again it started dumping in small portions. Wednesday night I had another major episode of blood gushing everywhere. When reading about hemorrhaging they talk about saturating overnight pads in under 2 hours. I was so confused because nothing was consistent. I was saturating an overnight pad in seconds. But then the bleeding would stop. After Wednesday night's episode I decided I should call the doctor in the morning. It was a really bad episode, involving washing my pants because I was just soaked and the blood kept pouring out. By the time I went to bed I was so anxious about it I just couldn't sleep. I got up a little while later to go to the bathroom and more blood came gushing out. I was getting more concerned because usually the blood stopped at night, and this time it didn't. I went back to bed in the hopes of getting some rest only to get up half an hour later and have even more blood go gushing into the toilet. By that time I was wide awake and woke up Matt to tell him what was going on. After talking about it for a bit we decided to go to the ER. I called my mom at 1:15AM and thank goodness her phone was on and she answered. She got to our house about 2AM and in the meantime I had two additional episodes of blood gushing, by which point I felt justified in going to the ER because it had never been that bad before.
When we got to the ER and they asked what was wrong and I told them I was hemorrhaging the person who checks you in had this look of horror on her face. People can die within minutes when they are hemorrhaging. Fortunately, I hadn't gotten to that point. My blood pressure was 120/something when I got there which was perfectly fine, and surprising considering the amount of blood I lost it told me two things. 1: I had tons of adrenaline and stress hormone running through my body and 2: We got to the hospital before it got really serious which was a good thing. Having a little more time is always a good thing. While waiting to be seen I had another episode. I didn't have to wait long. There weren't many people in the waiting room at 2am. I really liked the doctor who came in to see me. She was very sympathetic to my plight and she seemed really peeved that I had been dealing with this for three months. Most women get over a miscarriage in one month and she said that there was no reason I should still be dealing with this three months later. She had to do a pelvic exam not unlike your yearly exam at the doctor, but she couldn't see anything due to all the blood and clots coming out. Afterwards, it was an ultrasound and fortunately they were able to confirm that I had fetal tissue still attached to my uterine wall. It was partially attached, and that tissue is vascularized. So blood was pouring into my uterus from my blood stream because that tissue was still partially attached. I didn't know that was what caused hemorrhaging in a miscarriage or birth. After they confirmed what was going on they were able to order the D and C. They had told me that usually they don't do emergency D and Cs in the middle of the night unless the woman is bleeding out and isn't going to make it until morning. So I might have to go home and schedule the surgery for later in the day since I wasn't technically on my death bed at the time. However, by blood pressure dropped from 120 to 95 in 3 hours and the doctor kept seeing how much blood I was losing. By this time, I was dumping blood every 20-30 minutes and the doctor was afraid I was going to become anemic soon. My doctor being sympathetic to my plight was able to get my OB to agree to perform the surgery at 7:20 in the morning.
I'd never been put under general anesthesia before. They actually gave me the drugs in my IV instead of in a gas form like I thought they would. It was an interesting experience and I wish I could fall asleep that fast at night. I was just out, and then waking up and they gave me some pain meds through my IV and made me eat an ice chip, which I did a pathetic job of choking down. I was utterly exhausted. Not sleeping at all the night before, and then having the anesthesia in my system. I didn't want to wake up, I just wanted to sleep. So I pretty much ignored everyone and slept until they sent my husband in to wake me up. I guess they were concerned because they told him that I was really groggy and having a hard time waking up and that maybe if he went in there I would wake up more. He got me to wake up. I couldn't ignore him ;-) and not long after I was discharged. We live 5 minutes from the hospital and it was the worst car ride of my life. I was nauseous within two seconds of the car starting and I almost didn't make it home. When we got home, I almost threw up in my driveway. But there wasn't anything in my stomach. My little sister had spent the day with the kids to let mom go to work (grateful that they let her take the day off of school) and when I got home I largely laid on the couch feeling sick. Matt bought Chipotle for lunch. I didn't want to veer too off track, but given the circumstances I didn't feel like I could put up much of a fit about staying on the Whole 30. I had a salad from Chipotle with no dressing, but put guacamole on instead. It had beans and rice in it which are not Whole 30 approved but given the circumstances, I just let it be. Mom also made dinner for us that night. We got a three and a half hour nap and mom Made us salmon and veggies (from my freezer. All my emergency foods that are quick and easy to make are pretty much depleted now since I have been using them all week and haven't been to the store all week). She also made more rice. I had only a little bit of rice since I'd had it for lunch. Mostly just to taste because she made it with chicken broth instead of water and it was really good.
I feel like I didn't eat a lot. I wasn't very hungry. Well, I woofed down my chipotle, but after that I haven't felt too hungry and yesterday I even skipped lunch. I've just been doing the best I can sticking to a healthy diet. I've had to drink some diet soda yesterday and today just to wake up. I've got the kids all by myself and I can only leave them alone watching a movie for so long (like, until the movie is over) and without the caffeine I wouldn't have been able to do squat.
My older sister is coming over tonight and hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow. Today I'm not really in pain anymore, and the bleeding has stopped (at least I haven't bled today, who knows if it will start again tomorrow. My body seems to like playing tricks on me). At this point it's the fatigue, and a general feeling of crumminess. But I think I am on the mend, and once I fully recover and can cook my own food again, I will resume my Whole 30. For now, it's enough that I don't eat that cake that is still in the refrigerator.