Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I am a nice shark

"I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine.  If I am to change this image, I must first change myself."- Finding Nemo
As I was talking to my husband about New Years and what we are doing for that day, I started talking about how much I love eating shrimp curry (the only day of the year we get shrimp curry) and I made the comment "where shrimp curry is, that's where I will be".  And he goes "You and food". 

Hmmmm.  Makes me wonder if everyone in my family thinks I am a mindless eating machine.  A family of people who pretty much could care less about food.  I went over to my parent's house last week to help my younger sister with her Chemistry homework.  I was there from 3:30-7:30, we spent three hours working on chemistry, my parents left for the evening and there was no food in the house.  Chloe ate two avocados, and Lily refused to eat avocados or bananas.  There was nothing to make for dinner.  Unconcerned with food, the whole lot of them.  What do they think about someone like me?  I have this memory from waaaaay back, sometime in elementary school. I was at a girl scout camp and some of the kids were divvying up the snacks and I remember one of the girls making the comment to give me the largest bag because I eat the most.

When I was in college and was going out to eat with my family at an Italian restaraunt my younger sister says to me (she was maybe 5 at the time)  "Jenna you need to workout more because you're fat".  I guess that is less of an overeating remark and more of an exercise remark.  But the point is still the same.  I am not a mindless eating machine.  At least, I don't want to be, and if I am to change this image that my family has of me, I must first change myself.  There are two ways to go about this, the healthy way and the unhealthy way.  One way is of course to just not eat anything around others which leads to binging in private.  Totally unhealthy, and the other way is to make doable, liveable, healthy changes.  I'm tired of being thought of as the bottomless pit, tired of being the one who everyone thinks is obsessed with food.


151.2 pounds today :-)

1 comment:

  1. I feel like one sometimes. Sometimes I just want to eat not really having a reason. I am always thinking of food especially here lately. We will have to get back on track after Christmas. I just want to maintane until then.