Sunday, February 22, 2015

Drunk on my own Success

A year ago I was rockin' it.  I had just lost 60 pounds, and was ready to zero in on my goal.  Half way through the year I got all the way down to 143, I was frustrated with myself because I wasn't losing weight faster even though I was exercising like crazy.  Then I learned about intuitive eating and decided to just go for it because I had lost nearly 70 pounds by that time and I didn't need all the tools I had used up to that point anymore.  I was below my healthy weight range and I was on top of the world, so to speak except I was still unhappy with myself for not hitting my goal weight yet.  I became prideful thinking that the rules no longer applied to me because I had been so successful up until that point.  I thought I could let it go and be immune to weight gain.  Well, reality has a way of smacking you in the face and humbling you.  Six months later, 15 pounds heavier I have been knocked low and humbled.  I'm going back to tracking my food.  I have to be careful what I eat, and I have to do this the right way and the slow way.  Back to the tried and true methods.  I'm starting my calories out a little higher and then will gradually lower them as I lose weight.  Even this last week I have had several slip ups where I wasn't as good as I would have like to be.  Being snowed in doesn't help either. 

It is interesting for me to look back on the past six months and now I can see how prideful my thinking was, claiming that I no longer needed to count calories, thinking that I could be perfect with my eating and exercise at the drop of a hat.  I was definitely drunk on my own success.  Reality is quite different.  In reality, I need to track what I eat or I will always go over, even when I track I go over quite often.  In reality I struggle with snacking and sweets and too much diet soda and not enough water.  Last week was not perfect, but it was progress.  I weighed in yesterday for a mid week check in and I was at 155.6.  That's two pounds down from Tuesday when I was 156.6.  Progress, not perfection. 

This coming week my goal is to focus on my eating and to drink at least 64 oz water every day.  Do my best every single day to stay within my calorie goal.  I have my calories set pretty high right now: 1750, so I am going to try not to eat all my exercise points, but as long as I keep losing weight I will allow myself to keep eating at least some of my exercise points if and when I am truly hungry.  I still have a lot to learn, and a long way to go.  I don't know everything.  I've learned a lot it's true, and developed some strong opinions on certain topics but there is still a lot for me to learn and to work on.  So on to the future, looking forward and feeling humbled.

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