The Illusion of Control

There are many things going on in each of our lives.  Some good, some bad, some okay, some could be going better.  We are sick again.  The whole family, and except for a one week reprieve a few weeks ago that makes us sick for a solid month and one week.  Poor Chloe seems to have gotten the worst of it.  It totally stresses me out, especially since I am also sick and tired and achy and grumpy, and to make matters worse it has been warm the past few days and my allergies have decided that it must be spring and so I am terribly congested, itchy throat, watery eyes, scratchy eyes.  My whole face just itches.  It's awful.  Even with allergy medicine my allergies are terrible.  Last year I got hives on my neck and my neck muscles were tightening and restricting my airways a little.  It wasn't anything too bad, but if it happens again I'm definitely going to see the doctor.  I'm thinking of trying the Dotera tri-ease caplets paired with my conventional allergy medicine and see if that helps.  Anyway, off on a tangent there. 

Control.  When we encounter situations we can't control it leads to stress, and we have to find a way to cope with the situation.  I bet for most people reading this their coping mechanism is food.  Mine certainly is.  It's something I am trying to change.  I thought maybe replacing it with exercise would be a good idea, but it just isn't something feasible for me.  When I get stressed and angry I can't just drop everything and go workout.  Especially if I have already worked out that day.  So I will have to find something else because no matter how out of control our world seems, there is always one thing we can control.  Ourselves.  I was reading on a blog called "It Sux to be Fat" and she was talking about how the one thing we can control is what we eat.  It is entirely up to us what we put into our bodies.  This is so true.  I can't control that my kids are sick.  I can't control my husband's crazy schedule, I certainly can't control the weather and despite my best efforts I can't seem to control my allergies.  Instead of allowing this to drive me to food in desperation, I should take comfort in the fact that amidst all this chaos there is at least one thing that I can control. 

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I cannot make my kids play nicely together, I can try to stop them from fighting and encourage them to share but they are their own people and they will make their own choices.  I can't force Chloe to fall asleep at bed time instead of staying up until 9:30.  I can't stop the kids from waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes three or four times between them and waking me up.  I can't stop Lily from waking up and crawling into my bed in the middle of the night causing me to sleep poorly and be exceedingly tired the next day  Sometimes all we can do is try our best and hope for the best.  I need to stop letting all this stuff stress me out as much, plan activities, play games, and do my best.

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But I can make sure I drink my water.  I can make sure that I get food that will make my body feel better instead of making my body more tired and feel sick.  I can plan my meals, I can only choose what I do, I cannot control others.  And there is a lot of comfort and joy to be found in that because think of the message it sends: I am in control!  I am in control of me and myself, it's the one thing that you well and truly do and can have control over.  So amidst all the turmoil, take comfort, be of good cheer, and find heart because you are in control of your own life.