Friday, October 16, 2015

Going Down

As you know by now I can't seem to stay off the scale, so yesterday morning I was 153.2.  And this morning I was 152.6  I was happy to see that my bloatedness is finally going down, however I still have five more pounds to go before I get back to where I was a few weeks ago.  I'm not going to get on the scale again until Sunday, that's my plan.  Shouldn't be too difficult, it's only two days.  I hate this process.  You would think I would learn my lesson and stop doing it.  I would much rather be at my low weight working on being healthy and losing more weight instead of being at a higher weight working on getting back to where I was before I went AWOL. 

I've been thinking of healthy and sustainable over the past few days.  What can I sustain for the long term?  Don't deprive myself, but eat healthy meals.  I've been eating eggs with vegetables and coconut milk for breakfast.  I don't usually snack before lunch but if I workout I am making sure to get a post workout snack so I'm not starving by lunch time or by dinner time.  Lunch has been a salad (there is this really delicious recipe out of one of my Paleo cookbooks).  And some Chicken Apple Sausage.  Today was leftovers though since they are kind of piling up.  Dinners have been from my Paleo cookbooks.  I've eaten if I felt hungry, and tried to eat something good for me like avocado and tomatoes or green beans and apples or celery with almond butter and some raisins.  Yesterday the kids asked for popcorn and I  made them some.  I got myself one bowl and indulged in one bowl.  I didn't want anymore, but I made sure I didn't feel deprived or left out or upset I couldn't have any.  It didn't make me feel very good though, so that is something to think about.  Last night the family had pumpkin pie and I decided I wanted to have a little piece too, so I allowed myself to eat a piece.  When I finished I knew I was done, it made me feel kind of cruddy.  But I still went down in weight and I can only assume that if I were at my lowest I would just stay the same weight.  Yesterday was not a bad food day, it was a pretty good food day, but I did indulge a little bit.  Today I don't feel like I need to indulge especially because I have fresh in my mind how it made me feel yesterday and I don't want to feel that way. 

So that is how I am structuring my meals, and how I am planning on eating.  I am just focusing on using what I have learned from Whole 30 to structure my meals and cooking from my paleo books and really zeroing in on sustainable and healthy.  What is it that I really want to do for the rest of my life?  And I've really enjoyed my food this week.  I've felt full and satisfied.  Knowing that nothing is off limits, for real this time, but also knowing that I don't HAVE to eat less healthy foods and knowing how those foods make me feel and having a strong desire to just feel good again has helped me get out of the vacation funk and moving forward into the right direction.  I would love to get to a place where I just don't obsess about weight loss anymore.  I'm trying to avoid looking at myself in the mirror.  I can't help but asses, and judge myself whenever I see my reflection and that isn't good for my self esteem. 

Today went well.  I ate a RX bar after my gym workout.  I wanted to try the RX bar because they are Whole 30 friendly.  They are made with egg white protein which I thought was interesting.  It does make them taste differently.  I think they taste a lot better than regular protein bars because I don't really care for the taste of Whey protein. 

I had my salad and sausage for lunch.  There is enough salad and sausage for tomorrow and then I will have to figure something else out for lunch.  Blast.  Lunch is the hardest meal of the day for me to figure out what to eat. I really enjoyed doing Zumba today, it's been several weeks since I've been to class.  I had a lot more energy today than I have had the past several days.  I am finally starting to recover from my vacation.  Been drinking a lot of water... or at least a lot of water for me, I haven't been counting how much I've been drinking. 

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