|My grandma was cremated and placed in a side by side urn. She is in one side and Grandpa will be in the other.|
I couldn't really control what was available, which turned out to be fried chicken. I ate potatoes and chicken and some vegetables and tried to stay away from the dessert table. I didn't have any dessert at lunch time but caved in after dinner and ate two cookies. But I call that a success. Anytime I don't binge on sugar and exhibit self control is a success. Besides, we are doing long term, not short term starvation. I do have to be careful with sweets though, I notice that I get headaches really fast when I eat sweets. So that is something I am going to try to focus on is how the food makes me feel, not how I am feeling when I eat it. Some things just aren't worth the after effects. I also notice that it is much easier to avoid consuming unhealthy foods when I am not hungry. So if I haven't eaten lunch or dinner and I really want something sweet, I need to just make sure I eat my meal first. Sunday's are hard because we have church from 11-2. I need to bring a snack but I'm not sure what. I have some Whey protein bars but when I eat them I get really moody and cranky and I don't feel that good. I think it's because of the Whey and my body doesn't like whey.
Today I started my new exercise program! I did the first Cize DVD and had a good time. I'm glad it's only 30 minutes long for the first week, I haven't exercised in over a month waiting for my body to heal from the miscarriage (I should be finding out today if my hormonal levels are finally back down to zero). I have had to get my blood drawn 5 times, plus all the extra bleeding from the miscarriage, I didn't want to add exercise into that mix. Today was harder than I expected, it's been a while and my body has been through some major changes, plus of course the 20 pounds I gained. But I'm not deterred! Onward and Forward.
Another thing I am doing now that is helping is I have gotten rid of the sense of time. Every moment is a new moment. In order to try and rid myself of the bad habit of eating something bad one day and then saying "well I guess I ruined today and I better just start over tomorrow so I'm going to eat everything I can today because it's all off limits again tomorrow", I am getting rid of the idea of time. Each moment is a new moment. So if I ate a cookie at lunch I'm not saying "well I ate a cookie so might as well throw away this day" I am saying "this is a new moment and a new choice, and in this moment it is important to make a good choice". Every choice I make matters.
So that is what is going on with me right now, I plan on checking in much more frequently from here on out.