Sunday, September 28, 2014

Sunday Weigh In

Sunday has always been my weigh in day.  It just feels right.  It's the beginning of a new week, a chance for a fresh start in all areas of life, not just eating right or exercise.  So I decided that I need to restart my weekly official weigh ins because they help keep me on track.  I don't want to get scale obsessed again and I am really working on physical improvement and how my body feels and how I feel about my week instead of obsessing on just the number on the scale.  What non scale improvements did I make last week, what does my body feel like, how did I do with making healthy food choices?  I think last week was a huge success for me.  The whole week wasn't perfect but I made some major breakthroughs mentally.  I found a new Why, a reason to make permanent changes.  I made a huge mental leap when I was finally able to make peace with sweets.  I was finally able to realize that the world isn't going to run out of cookies, the world's supply of sugar, chocolate, and all things sweet was safe and if I didn't eat it right then and there, it would still be around whenever I got back to it.  These things will always be around, and plentiful.  I am no longer restricting myself or making those foods off limits, so it is okay if I don't scarf them all up as soon as I can, it is okay to leave them for a later date.  I was finally able to start eating healthier foods again and I joined the gym and really just feel good about myself.  My body is sore from working out but not so sore that I can't move.  I know I have made real progress towards my goals, which now consist of getting healthy and being the best I can be instead of just reaching a number on the scale.  As far as what is my goal for my end weight.  I'm not really sure anymore.  I always wanted to weigh 125 but I think it better to focus on getting fit, and eating healthy and not depriving myself and wherever I end up, I will be happy with. 

I've been listening to the Half Size Me show a lot recently for motivation and it is an amazing podcast, if you haven't listened to it yet you definitely need to check it out.  One of the things that Heather says all the time is that there is a difference between sustainable weight, and achievable weight.  You might be able to achieve a really low weight through dieting, restricting your food, and exercising like crazy, but is that really sustainable for the long run?  Your sustainable weight is the weight that your body naturally rests at when you are eating healthy in a way you know you can sustain the rest of your life, and you are being as active as you want to be.  It is a way to live your life without having to diet your way down.  That is what I am focusing on now.  Sustainable, maintainable weight loss and I think that it will really help me when I enter maintenance to have made these realizations now.  I figure I could either go through what I went through this past month now or after I hit maintenance, but it was something I was going to have to go through because you just can't live forever with a dieter's mentality.  I think that we all start there at the beginning.  The idea of being on plan, off plan, in the zone, or completely blowing it.  But sometime, somewhere you have to make the mental switch from diet to life.

With all that in mind my weigh in this Sunday was 148.6!  I am extremely happy with that number.  It is below 150 which I where I have been hanging out for the last 4 weeks, and I didn't count any calories last week.  I think maybe, just maybe I might be officially out of the donuts and Doritos phase and at least into the combined phase of hunger directed eating combined with a slightly exaggerated pull towards donuts and Doritos.  However, the past two days I haven't desired much junk food, and I only ate one fiber one brownie for dessert.  Today however, I think I might have a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top.  We will see when the time comes.  I know it is there if I want it, and if I don't.... well, tis the season for pumpkin pie.  It's not going anywhere.

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