Discouraged

Have you noticed how much easier it is to be discouraged during weight loss than encouraged and feeling good?  It feels like pretty much anything can come along and pop your fragile bubble that holds you together.  Just one little tap in the wrong direction and your motivation crumbles leaving you feeling deflated and like a pile of bricks on the floor. 

Last week I got in over 100,000 steps despite being sick and dealing with sick kids.  I had hoped that I would be lower this week but it seems that birthday parties tend to sabotage weight loss, especially when you are in charge of making the cake (and the frosting).  Monday I weighed in at 154.6 and today I was 155.6.  I tried to stay more on track with my eating today and to be very careful with what I ate today, but I didn't get in any exercise so we will see where I end up tomorrow. 

We had Chloe's 2nd birthday party last Saturday even though the kids were sick.  They still managed to have a good time.  Chloe ate a bunch of ice cream and Lily was trying very hard not to open all of Chloe's presents.  She mostly succeeded.

I of course ate entirely too much ice cream and cake.  Mostly cake.  Being in charge of making cake from scratch and frosting from scratch.... well it was too much for me and I caved... a lot. Still, with getting in so much exercise I had hoped for a little better outcome, although my exercise and my curbed eating is probably the reason why I didn't gain three pounds this week like I have been the past two months-ish. 

I'm still practicing with doing my nails.  I have the hardest time keeping the polish off of my cuticles and the sides of my fingers making my cleanup take forever, and even then I still get it all over my cuticles.  Oh well, more practice.  Even though it's not perfect I love how they came out this time.  Red and Silver are my two favorite colors together (dark red and sparkley silver- probably the reason why I chose those as my wedding colors :-)

You can definitely tell I'm no professional ha!  But that is not the point.  The point is that I am really enjoying my new hobby and it is helping me to think about something other than food.  I found that pattern on Pinterest, I am not very good at coming up with these things by myself. 

This weekend we are headed up to the mountains to go skiing.  I used to love skiing until I turned 18 and my feet started to go numb.  I'm not sure if that is because I have poor circulation in my feet or if it is because at age 18 I crossed the threshold to being overweight.  But either way, I can only ski for about two hours before the pain is too much and I have to take my boots off.  Makes for a less than spectacular experience and with how expensive a lift ticket is, I just end up feeling guilty for even trying.  My father in law switched to snowboarding for his hips, and my sister switched to snowboarding for her knees.  I'm thinking about switching for my feet, the only problem being that I have all the ski equipment and I don't have any snowboarding equipment.  Also you can't really do moguls on a snowboard like you can on skis.  I want to try getting back into my healthy weight range and then go skiing to see if it helps my feet.  (Which is why I'm kicking myself in the butt for allowing myself to gain that weight, this could be my test run but as it is I am ten pounds away from my healthy weight range once again.)  Which I suppose brings this post full circle: back to feeling discouraged.  I'm trying not to focus too much on where I was but it is very hard not to have feelings of regret, and feelings of frustration that I have to do this yet again.  Keep plodding away, I'll get there eventually.