Saturday, June 6, 2015

A New Dream

I feel like the past few days have just flown by!  I've been working hard all week, eating well, and also trying to catch up on sleep from when the kids were sick.  We haven't quite gotten back on schedule with everything yet but we are almost there. 

Several months ago I wrote a post about a nightmare I always have every time I start a diet.  The setting may be different but the dream is always the same: I eat desserts uncontrollably and feel awful that I blew my diet.  A few days ago I had a new dream for the very first time.  It was a simple dream where I was presented with a similar situation but this time I took a few bites of a dessert and then didn't eat anymore.  I was in control, and confident.  I don't usually put a lot of stock in dreams but I think this is a good representation of my attitude and how I have changed over the past several weeks.  Before I was always going against the grain and forcing myself to do things I didn't want to do.  Now, I have more fully embraced a new way of life.  I love my workouts and I feel much more in control around food.

Today is weigh in day and I am 149.8!  Back in the 140s!  That is a one pound loss again.  I am happy with my progress. Slow and steady wins the race.  If I lost 1 pound every week, I would hit my goal weight in 20 weeks.  That seems like a long time from now but time will come and go and I would rather be at goal in 20 weeks than floundering around like I have been. 

Today is my 7 year anniversary!  Matt and I went on a bike ride and then went out to dinner.
It took me an hour to get to the top of the trail and 26 minutes to get down.  It was lots of fun and my favorite trail of the three mountain bike rides I have done.  We went to an Italian restaurant and I ordered the grilled salmon over some sort of pasta that I can't remember what it was called (it was a quark screw type pasta) It was fabulous and there weren't too many noodles, and no creamy sauce loaded with calories.  I think that my tolerance for high calorie food has plummeted in the past 5 weeks.  I was talking with a friend on the phone the other day and one thing I was telling her is that I always felt sick back when I was gaining weight.  I was eating whatever I wanted but I physically felt sick all the time.  Now that I have been eating better I feel so much better and I am not willing to put myself in that position again.  It really affects how I eat and what I choose.  I came home and ate three small homemade cookies and that was plenty for me, and I was even beginning to think a little too much after the way I felt.  It wasn't hard to stop, and I was happy with my treat.  I didn't think I needed more and I was quite happy. 

I have definitely changed over the past 5 weeks.  I wasn't tempted to choose a creamy pasta at all and usually at Italian restaurants that is all I look at.  I had two pieces of bread and didn't ask for more.  Usually I always ask for a second loaf of bread to dip in oil, but today I didn't, I wasn't even tempted to ask for more because I knew I had more food coming. 

I finally feel like I am starting to live life the way I always wanted to. 

1 comment:

  1. you motivate and inspire me..
    I aspire to get 'back' to a 'better for me' goal weight (not where I was by any means, that wasn't a good goal for me, but where I am now isn't quite either),
    and seeing your progress, your baby steps, your progress, as well as determination reminds me it's possible.. IMpossible!! =-)

    I too feel confident, and know that it's what we continue to do most of the time that matters most,
    I lack the 'dream' of control around food to the extent I want it to be, but im feeling more confident,

    i have reminded myself (by over-doing it) how much i dislike being TOO full and it's not a pleasurable experience =-( I hope to remember it in the moment that I could be making a choice to experience it.