A few months ago I realized that I no longer crave feeling full, and in fact I don't like the feeling of being full. That feeling where your stomach is stretched to capacity and you don't want to eat another bite.... except that you do because what I have recently discovered about myself is that 75% of the time my desire to eat has absolutely nothing to do with my physical hunger. SAY WHAT? That is right. I realized this the other day when I was eating, and eating, and eating some more and I was very full. I was so full that I didn't was starting to get that sick stretched feeling but I psychologically wanted to eat more. I couldn't stop eating although I was clearly full and didn't need any more food. That is when I realized that so much of my eating is not due to being hungry or being afraid of getting too hungry, but its actually due to other psychological reasons. Those are the things I am trying to uncover so that I can start living better and not being so dependent on food and stop my binges and stop all the crazy snacking that goes on in the afternoon. I'm not sure if I am discouraged by the fact that most of the time I eat when I am not hungry or if I am enlightened. I suppose right now I am conflicted. But with each new revelation I am one step closer to my goals and one step further in my progression to having a healthy normal relationship with food.
Today we finally got around to carving our pumpkins. Yet another difference between my two kids is very apparent in the way they reacted to carving the pumpkins. Lily didn't want anything to do with the inside of the pumpkin and refused to touch it. Chloe on the other hand absolutely loved putting her hand inside the pumpkin and pulling out pumpkin guts and seeds.
Now we are all ready for Halloween tomorrow.