Thursday, May 15, 2014

When It Rains It Pours

Over the past several days I have been feeling very depressed.  I have been very upset that I am still hovering around 150 and that every time I drop below 150, I pop back up the next week and stay there eventhough I am doing everything right.  On top of these feelings of failure, frustration, and despair I have been having a rough time with Lily.  Lily hasn't had a bowl movement in five days, so we decided to put her back on her miralax, but she is so fussy now and very cranky from not pooping in so long.  In addition, I spilled Asian salad dressing all over the inside of my car and that was incredibly difficult to clean up.  Then I noticed yesterday I have misplaced my $70 sunglasses clip that attaches to my glasses and is the whole reason why I got these particular frames in the first place.  I also still have hives on my neck and my throat was feeling very constricted today.  In addition to all that I pulled a muscle in my back picking up Lily yesterday.  Geeze it is no wonder I'm upset.  I have been so incredibly tired the last several days I don't quite know what to do with myself.

I was talking to Matt this morning about feeling like a failure with my weight not going down and I told him about some of the protein shakes that I was researching and he told me to go ahead and buy the one I wanted.  I decided to try the 310 shakes as they have the highest quality protein, the most fiber, no artificial ingredients, no added sugar or fructose, and they have a pretty good price for them.  I decided that my body just needs some help.  So I am planning on trying these.  The nice thing about them is that you get one for breakfast and then the second one is an afternoon snack and your breakfast shake you can spice it up with fruit so they have lots of recipes for different tasting shakes eventhough they only sell vanilla and chocolate, they have a blueberry recipe, birthday cake, banana swirl, etc etc etc.  I am really excited to give it a try and hopefully get the scale going in the right direction again.

Later this evening I showed my mom my pictures from my Chalean extreme and she was saying how great my after pictures looked and was pointing out the differences she could see in the before and after pictures when they were side by side.  She pointed out that my face looks thinner, my arms and back are much more sculpted, my waist has really shrunk and my legs have firmed up.  That really helped me feel better because I just feel like I haven't made any progress when really I have.  My body looks very different now than it did 5 months ago.  I am still stuck on the scale and probably always will be, but I have to take into account that I am stronger, and leaner.  Still I have finished almost two weeks of Turbo Fire and I haven't the slightest clue why I jumped back up into the 150s after going down to 149 and this whole 149 to 150 thing is driving me out of my mind.  So I am glad to give the shakes a try to boost my weight loss and get me hopefully into the 130s. 

Gratitude Journal
I am thankful for my wonderful husband who is being so supportive and just wants me to be happy.  I also am so thankful for my mom who encourages me and points out the positive things and tells me what a good job I am doing and that all my hard work is paying off.  I feel much better this evening than I have for the past three days because I have these two wonderful people in my life.

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