Freedom

I can't tell you how much I enjoy not having to count calories.  I almost can't believe that I am losing weight, and eating intuitively, and feeling so good!  I feel for the first time like I am finding a lifestyle, something that I can keep up for good, not just something that I will do for a little while and then stop once I hit a certain weight, but something that could make eating for life much easier, much more normal, and much more healthy.  I feel like I am actually working on my bad habits and overcoming them.  I'm getting better at not emotionally eating.  As I add more things into my life, there are other ways I can cope with stress.  I love playing my flute, doing nails, and I have really been enjoying BodyFlow which helps manage stress.  For the first time since I started losing weight, I am truly finding a new way of life.  It feels so liberating, so freeing.  The promise in the Whole 30 book that you will be able to find freedom from food is coming into being.  My sugar cravings are pretty much gone, I find it pretty easy these days to pass up desserts, and think of all the calories that saves me!  We went out to eat for my Grandma's 80th birthday last night and it was a buffet style dinner and I just passed the dessert table.  When I first got there I was hungry and I thought the desserts looked good.  After I had my fill of crab and salmon and prime rib, and pork, and shrimp and a super good Lobster Bisque I had absolutely no desire to check out the dessert table.  I didn't even want a piece of the chocolate birthday cake.  Matt said it was great, but I was feeling really good and I was in a happy place and didn't wish to mess that up.  I felt good, and happy with how much I ate and how I physically and mentally felt.  It felt good not to be drawn to the dessert table.  Several people in our party visited the dessert table several times and had birthday cake and I thought "That used to be me"  Before Whole 30 I would have eaten a few things off the buffet and then loaded up on desserts.  Instead I did the opposite.  I loaded up on protein (It was a seafood and prime rib buffet so there weren't too many vegetables) and some potatoes and this one tomato and cucumber and crab salad that was really good and after eating all that I was happy, I was content and felt absolutely no drive or cravings or desire for dessert.  It felt really good.

Last night I did add cream in.  I think I also got a hold of some gluten in the seasoning on the pork I ate but it wasn't very much gluten as I avoided the breads and crackers.  I also didn't eat any cheese although since I was doing dairy I suppose now I could have.  That thought didn't cross my mind then so I guess I didn't really care about eating the cheese.  There were too many other yummy things to eat, especially that lobster bisque I loved that.  Last night I didn't feel bloated from the dairy and I didn't really expect to have any reaction to it.  Actually I don't expect to have much of a reaction to any of the foods I'm adding back in, I've never noticed any food allergies, but I do feel so good now and I'm sure that it's from taking out all the processed foods and eating lots of vegetables and not drinking diet Pepsi or eating sugar.  I will be interested to analyze gluten and other grains.  My friend says that gluten makes her really bloated so she hasn't been eating it much even after reintroduction.

Last night Chloe woke up around 11pm and was sick.  I can't believe she is sick again.  I even put her on juice plus to stop her from getting sick, a lot of good that does I guess.  At least Lily is having regular bowel movements since she started juice plus, but so far that seems to be the only positive side effect since I got sick after I started taking it and now Chloe, and it isn't even winter!  Since the timing is of course optimal and I can't take Chloe to the doctor since it's the weekend I'm going to see if those essential oils help and if she is still really bad on Monday take her into the doctor.  She has some really nasty chest congestion but the only place I can take her is the ER or Urgent care and our insurance doesn't cover either of those.  Besides she isn't bad enough to need the ER or Urgent Care.  So for now she is getting a cocktail of essential oils (applied topically) and of course children's ibuprofen.  The recommended oils are melaleuca, on guard, frankincense, breathe, and eucalyptus applied to chest, back and the bottoms of feet.  Anyway, I only got 5 hours of sleep last night.

Yesterday I swam 2,000 yards (about 300 yards more than a mile) and my shoulders are sore today so when I was playing my flute it was hard to keep my flute up haha.  I had a good time playing today, I decided to work on just one song today the whole time instead of trying to work on a whole bunch of different pieces.  I think I'm going to spend a week or so just working on one song during my practice time.  I need to work on the three songs that I want to play next month.  There is a lot to work on, if i want to play once a month for my grandparents, and I want to do the Christmas recital with my siblings, it's just a lot to work up since my repertoire is non existent on account of not really playing much over the past 10 years.  I do think my tone is getting better but it usually seems that it doesn't get decent until after about an hour of practicing which does me no good because that is usually when I'm done playing.  Well, progress is progress.

Today was a big TV day for the kids since Chloe was sick.  I was supposed to go up to the lake today with my family.  My Dad's company had a big event for the employees and their families today and I was planning on going and having BBQ and letting the kids play in the water and having a great time.  But of course Chloe threw a wrench in that plan.  I'm super bummed I'm missing it, I've been planning on going for about a month.  Now I'm just praying I don't get sick because my race is in one week!  So I'm taking those Vitamin C packets twice a day until race day and hoping I don't get sick.