Monday, August 31, 2015

What Would You Do?

If you stopped expending so much energy, and mental thought on dieting, food, and thinking about how fat you are, and wondering how long it will take you to look the way you want to look.  Maybe it's just me, but for the better part of the past 15 years a good portion of my thoughts, time and energy has been spent on thinking about dieting, food, and wanting to look a certain way.  I am trying to change that.  I am trying very hard to stop thinking so much about when I will get to a certain weight and what I will do when I get there and how I will look and what clothes I will buy.  Tomorrow never comes and quite frankly I'm tired of wasting my time worrying about what I look like.  Worrying about food and what to eat and what not to eat and how much to eat and when to eat and when not to eat.  I want to get back to learning to trust my body, and then get on with my life.  I did so much today and while I did spend some of the day thinking about dieting (I started the Whole 30 challenge on the facebook group today) I also did a lot of other stuff.  I read books with the kids, played my flute, worked on the alphabet with Chloe, went shopping for a dress for Lily, and did my best not to think about the scale, my body image, and weight loss.  I did try on a dress today, and I loved it on the rack, I loved the way it felt and the fabric it was made of.  It looked terrible on me.  Too bad.  Move on, find a different style.  Finding styles that look good on me is a big challenge for me because I'm fashion deficient, but I'm working on it.  I find I do better shopping online (which has its drawbacks because you can't try it on) but when I am in the store I get so overwhelmed.

I am happy I am going to be doing another Whole 30, that is what really helps me listen to my body and what helps me start to overcome my bad habits.  I've been eating pretty junky the last several days so I am happy to get back to healthy eating that makes me feel good physically and mentally.

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